It was New Year's Eve and the snow had started to fall. Tired as
the year itself, the man stood on the bridge. He stared deep into
the flow of the river below, picking out particles of flotsam and
following their progress intently for a moment or two before his
eyes lit on another fragment.
He tired of the game and turned to look instead at the city skyline.
Though the snow-laden air smudged the shapes, he could still
distinguish the apartment block where he and Maria had lived.
Beautiful Maria, like a shaft of sunlight through rain clouds.
She was all that had kept him going when the company had fired
him. And now she was gone.
This was where they'd met. This bridge had always been one of his
favourite places. The idea of being suspended above the flowing
river appealed to him more deeply than he would ever admit. Admit
to anyone except Maria, that is.
She had spoken first, that day. He had seen her standing at the
same spot he usually stood and thought things over. Like a cat
she seemed, beautiful and regal. He had been drawn to her.
Unperturbed, he stood by her and leant on the railings.
"I always wonder what it must be like to live in the river." Her
voice had been rich and sensual, unhurried. "What it must be like
to breathe water, or to swim down to the riverbed."
"I look at the specks of driftwood and think how much we are like
them, carried along on the current of time, with no idea where we
are going and only a vague idea of where we have been. It helps
me put things into perspective."
"What do you do, that needs to be put into perspective?"
"I'm a salesman. I sell encyclopaedias door to door. When I've
had a door slammed in my face at the end of the day for the third
day running, I need to put my life into perspective.
"What do you do that makes you wonder about life in the river?"
"Nothing much. I just wonder. I'm like that. My name's Maria."
He had turned to look at her for the first time, and she had been
beautiful. "And my name's John, John Smith." She had laughed at
that.
"So we can't call ourselves Mr and Mrs Smith when we book into
the motel, then?"
He closed his eyes and thought about that first night, the intensity of
their togetherness, the urgent need which had brought them together.
They had talked more, of course. They had gone to a cafe, then a
restaurant, but they both knew. Once the idea was there, once Maria had
said that, the thought was there and it was going to happen. And it had
been good.
It had been inevitable. Like this moment. He opened his eyes again, and
found the river.
The doll bobbed in the water. As it turned and twisted, its single
remaining arm waved at him. It had blond hair and blue eyes, like Maria.
That was when he made his decision to join her, to find her and to be
with her. He lifted his eyes from the doll and gazed further into the
distance, where the river joined the sea and the clouds met the water,
and he thought about what he had to do next.
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